I know my loyal fans probably think I am the luckiest guy on earth, and in many ways I am. I am intelligent and funny - not to mention gorgeous, but that doesn't mean that I don't have my fair share of bad luck. Everyone does in some area of life, right? Some people have bad luck with relationships, others have bad luck buying cars or finding a job. I have bad luck with furniture. Yeah, I said furniture; it just doesn't like me. I don't know why it doesn't like me, though. I don't recall doing anything in particular to the furniture gods, but all of my furniture seems to rebel against me. Not only my furniture but also other people's furniture - it's getting out of hand. It goes way back - since childhood - but this year it has gotten increasingly bad. It started over the summer when I was buying furniture for my apartment. I went to a secondhand furniture store and found two amazing bar stools to go with my breakfast bar. These bar stools are seriously incredible. I named one Leroy and the other Chester. What? You don't name your furniture? Well that's weird. As I was driving Leroy and Chester home in the back of my truck, Leroy tried to commit suicide - he "fell" out of the back of the truck in the middle of an intersection busy with traffic, then this lady tried to get out of her car and take him! No joke. I should have known then that this was not going to a good year for furniture and me. Flash-forward to me trying to navigate through my small apartment filled with people. I am trying to get to the other side of the room and, for some reason, decided the best route was over the coffee table. While I am standing on the table, the damn thing breaks! Oh, did I mention that the top is made of glass panels? Any who, one of the panels shatters while I am standing on it. Therefore, score two for faulty furniture. Another furniture mishap: after that, I go to visit two of my friends. To say hello, I take a running start and leap onto one of my friend's beds, and do you know what happens? Yeah, it collapses. Seriously, how can it collapse? All I did was jump on it.